


Failure to Loathe

by Hammie



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Prank Wars, hatefluff, kicking, shitty blackrom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-01
Updated: 2011-11-01
Packaged: 2017-10-25 15:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/271594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hammie/pseuds/Hammie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat thinks his rivalry with John will be a beautiful hatemance for the ages. He is mistaken. It is mostly prank wars and kicking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Failure to Loathe

**Author's Note:**

> Just a series of goofy one-shots of John and Karkat's rubbish hatemance, I guess! I just really like the idea of black romance occasionally NOT being all dangerous and sexy and sometimes actually it's pretty ridiculous. So.
> 
> (This will eventually have some illustrations!) (Rated T for comedy violence and bleeding, I guess)

"Oh my god, fuck you, John!" Karkat snarled, diving behind the sofa to reload his nerf gun.

  


"Haha, no, fuck YOU!" John replied gleefully, firing his weapon, and as the foam dart whizzed past his ear, Karkat could swear he felt his heart beating faster.

  


"You missed," he said smugly, sidling around the edge of the sofa to get a better shot at John's stupid, stupid face. There was a whizzing noise and a thud, and pain bloomed in his left eye socket. He dropped his gun and clapped both hands to his face.

  


"FUCK, OW."

  


"YESSSSS!" John cried, punching the air and whooping. 

  


"Fucking hell, Egbert, why the fuck would you DO that, jesus," Karkat said, gingerly uncovering his eye and giving John a betrayed look. "It says right in the fucking instructions that you aren't supposed to aim at anyone's eyes, fuck, even a goddamn WIGGLER can grasp that! Oh my god, do I have a black eye? I'm going to have a black eye, aren't I. Fuck."

  


"Oops!" John replied cheerfully.

  


Karkat stood up, scowling. "This isn't a JOKE, John! Fuck you! Fuck you FOREVER."  He stalked into the kitchen. "This game is OVER. I'm getting an ice pack."

  


John put his gun down and trailed after him, grinning. "I think that means I won!"

  


"Suck an egg, giving me a black eye is an instant fucking disqualification."

  


"Haha, Karkat, I think you're just a... SORE loser!"

  


"Oh my god, jump off a cliff made of dicks. This is a SERIOUS INJURY," Karkat said, brandishing his ice pack at John demonstratively. "Look at this. Look, it's already starting."

  


John walked over and leaned in, examining Karkat's eye with an expression of concern. "Wow, that IS pretty bad. Sorry Karkat! I bet it really hurts," he said sympathetically. Taking a step back, he jabbed his thumb right into the edge of Karkat's eye socket, just above the forming bruise. "I bet it hurts even MORE when I do this!"

  


Karkat snarled. John fled.

  


Rose found them in the hallway, an hour later, John slumped against the wall nursing a bloody nose, Karkat still resolutely kicking him in the shins.


End file.
